Learning To Surf

I remember the first time I went into the Pacific Ocean. I was a teenager and had only ever been in the Atlantic Ocean. I was surprised by the strength of the waves and was dragged under and back to the shore several times, along with clumps of kelp. The water was much colder than I was used to and the waves would hit with force each time. Finally, I started diving into and through the waves as they came as was able to navigate the waves as they came.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

In his book Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn describes the foundations, or attitudes, that are considered fundamental for cultivating a mindful approach to life. These attitudes are all interconnected and cultivating these attitudes will deepen your meditation practice in addition to enhancing your energy, creativity, and well-being.

The fifth of these attitudes is acceptance.

We spend a lot of time in pain because life isn’t what we want it to be. We see flaws in ourselves and others that we are desperate to change. We want more of some aspects of life and less of others. We would like to be able to control and plan our lives to our satisfaction. We deny or avoid certain aspects of life or the world that we deem to be unpleasant.

Acceptance is the practice of embracing the reality of life and the world as it is, without judgment or resistance. It is about opening ourselves to what is.

Many people believe that practicing acceptance means giving up or having to like how things are in the present moment. This is not the case. We can accept things are as they are without the status quo being our preferred state. We can accept things as an active and intentional choice rather than a passive choice of giving up or allowing.

Part of acceptance is the realization that we do not have as much personal control as we would like. Things are always changing, often in a way we cannot predict. As we dig into the practice of acceptance, we often encounter strong feelings such as grief, anger, and fear. Accepting these feelings, softening and opening to what is here now, in the present, gives us the space and grace for healing and transformational change.

Here are some ways to nurture acceptance:

• Embrace imperfection: Nothing is perfect, and struggles are part of our existence. Allow yourself and others to be imperfect, knowing that this is perfectly human.

• Use compassion: Accept your flaws as part of your unique self. As you get to know them better through mindfulness practice, treat them with compassion and kindness.

• Stop resisting: Find the beauty in surrendering to what is, rather than resisting it. Allow things to unfold on their own time scale, rather than trying to control everything.

• When facing challenges, ask yourself, what can I do today to help this situation, rather than diving into a worry pit of what might happen in the future.

"For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain."

-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow