When Life Feels Heavy, Lighten the Load

There are a lot of reasons to feel heavy these days. The news pounds us every day with stories of wars, school shootings, natural disasters, and political strife. Many of our family, friends, and former coworkers are struggling to find jobs or make their new businesses successful. Some of our necessities have gotten expensive. Add to that smaller things, like our favorite football team having a bad season, an illness or injury, or an argument with a loved one and the heaviness grows.

Given the nature of some of these topics, our heaviness can feel both personal and collective. We might feel grief for ourselves but also grief for the greater society impacted by things happening in the world.

It has been said that grief is love looking for a place to go. When we are feeling heavy, the challenge is to find a channel for that heaviness, where we can release the weight and open ourselves to letting in lightness.

First, let love flow over yourself. Now is not the time to abandon your self-care routines in favor of leftover Halloween candy and Hallmark movies (although we all deserve a day or two like this now and then!). Punishing your body for things happening outside of your control doesn’t release the weight.

Next, let love flow over the humans and animals that bring joy to your life, who support you when the heaviness gets to be too much. Continue to wish for their safety, health, and wellbeing while also wishing it for yourself.

Finally, let go of a few things that you can control that are adding to that heavy weight on your back. One simple way to do this is to think about what’s on your calendar and ask yourself if you are looking forward to that thing or dreading that thing. If you are dreading it-is it something you can remove? You don’t have to bake homemade cookies for the PTA, host Thanksgiving dinner at your home, and probably a vast array of other things that you do, out of tradition, obligation, or guilt.

If you want to go a step further, write down some of things that are weighing on you on individual pieces of paper and then actually discard them, one by one, imagining that with each one, you are removing more and more weight. Roll your shoulders and let them rest down with ease, imagining all the weight is gone.

Our ability to care about things happening in the world is an investment of energy and hope that can radiate to others. We can learn to channel our helplessness and grief into action and love.

“Everything that has a beginning has an ending. 
Make your peace with that and all will be well.”

-- Jack Kornfield